Grieving Stage 1: The feeling I’ve never ever felt before – Pain, Anger, Deep Sadness, Mind Full of Chaos, Stress, and so on….
Hi Mama! It’s been exactly a week since you went up there! It really hurts that you already left us to be with the Lord. It’s just too soon! I don’t know when will I accept the fact that you’re gone, I don’t know when and how will I move on from this, but I will try my best. I want to write down every important details that happened to us that day and I hope this will be the last time I will share and recall the story. It was really bad and I’m still so mad of what happened to us, of what happened to you. I don’t know what to say and feel… I’m so so sorry, mama! I should’ve followed my intuition. I should’ve followed your iling that day. I’M SO SORRY, MAMA! I LOVE YOU SO SOOO MUCH! ALWAYS AND FOREVER! I hope you’re having a great time bonding with Jesus up there in Heaven. I’ll be waiting for you in my dreams, ma! See you!
I never thought that my first time riding an ambulance will be with my mom on a pandemic! I used to think (every time I see an ambulance), “kelan kaya ako makakasakay ng ambulansya?” or “what will be the reason why I’ll be in an ambulance?”, I never wished for it to happen… but it did!
I won’t be mentioning any names (okay, maybe just one), but I was called a bully outside the emergency room, beside my mom on a stretcher, more about that later….