Grieving Stage 3: Trying To Be Strong
Hi Mama! Happy happy birthday!!! It’s your 72nd birthday today and it’s also been three months since you sadly left us. Time passed by so fast, but it felt so slow. This is the first time we’ll be celebrating your special day without you. It’s so hard. I’m not used to singing happy birthday to you and not being able to see you… to see your smile, to hear you sing “how young are you” at the end, to hear you say “thank you” or “where’s my gift” after. We are still very much heartbroken and I am still in so much pain especially every time I remember our memories together. Every time I think of the things we used to do or see the places we used to visit, I feel so crushed and broken. I miss you terribly. I wish that this is just a bad dream, and hoping that I’ll wake up anytime soon and see you beside me, but it’s not. This is now our reality… the reality that we won’t be able to see and hear you, the reality of not being able to celebrate your birthday with you physically and the reality that you won’t be able to celebrate every special moments with us. I know that you’re always watching over us up there, but sometimes, I wished that you’re beside me so I can hug and kiss you anytime.
I started writing this letter on your birthday (April 13, 2021), but I can’t seemed to finish it. It’s just so hard thinking about you, why you left us so soon. Thinking about all our memories and try not to cry. I just can’t.
I’ll just end this letter and make up for it on the next one. I’m sorry, mama. It’s just so hard. I simply want to thank you for everything! For all the lessons you’ve thought me, for all the care, the love and support you’ve given me my entire life. I miss you terribly and I love you so sooo much!
I hope you’re having so much fun dancing and singing with the Lord and the angels up there! I can’t wait to see you in my dreams again.
Your one and only Leyjes
To be continued…